


Kougyoku won't say she's in love

by EmiKougamine



Category: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: Friendship/Love, Gen, Implied Relationships, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:07:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26476945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmiKougamine/pseuds/EmiKougamine
Summary: If there was one thing Kougyoku was certain of, it was that she was most definitely not in love. At least, that's what she tells herself.
Relationships: Judal | Judar & Ren Kougyoku
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Kougyoku won't say she's in love

**Author's Note:**

> Kind of a songfic inspired by the song from Hercules, but otherwise just a short character study.

If there was one thing Kougyoku was certain of, it was that she was most definitely _not_ in love.

She was the eighth imperial princess of the mighty Kou Empire, the daughter of his Majesty Emperor Koutoku, and as such her heart – and her body – belonged solely to the man her father and his advisors, in all their infinite wisdom, deemed a beneficial match to the Kou Empire. She had duties, responsibilities, expectations to fulfil. _Standards._ She had no business pining like a lovesick schoolgirl.

She knew all that, had known since the day she had been taken from her home in the slums and forced into the role of ‘princess’, to become someone she had never thought she would ever be.

She knew this, so why was it so hard to ignore the feeling in her chest whenever she saw him? The way her heart beat faster when he looked at her, or even walked by? The way her cheeks would flush red when he took her hand? The way she felt she might melt when he gave her that winning, genuine, smile, so rare to see on a face more used to insincerity? Why did her heart ache each time he turned and waved goodbye, each time his eyes glanced over at another pretty girl?

She sighed, causing her attendant Ka Kobun to glance over at her with a concerned expression.

“Is something the matter, Princess?” he asked, quill hovering over the scroll in front of him.

She shook her head. “It’s nothing. I was just thinking about something, that’s all.”

“I see. Perhaps some tea would help cheer you up?” he suggested, knowing the scent of her favourite drink would help ease her mind, even if he didn’t know exactly what was bothering her. Kougyoku nodded gratefully, accepting the inclined bow he gave her before sweeping out the room, his advisors robes flowing around his feet.

Left alone with her thoughts, Kougyoku’s mind wandered to the day she had been brought to the palace, the day her life had changed forever. Ka Kobun was one of the few people who had shown her any form of kindness or consideration, and had never looked down on her for being of low birth. Perhaps that was why she had so few friends in the palace – she relied on him too much to overcome her shyness. He was more than her attendant and tutor – he was her friend, her loyal companion.

But he was not the one she loved - goodness no! Kougyoku loved many people – her friends, her family, those she had come to know and share experiences with during her travels, but they were different kinds of love than the one she held most dear. The secret love no-one else but her knew of.

She had loved him from the moment she first saw him. She’d heard of him before, of course; his reputation preceded him, and she couldn’t help build up an image of him in her mind. Perhaps she’d been unconsciously attracted to him ever since, and meeting him had only reinforced the ideal she’d kept him to.

Even now, she couldn’t say what had first attracted her to him – was it his smile, the way his eyes would glint with mirth and a hint of mischief whenever he laughed? Or was it his confidence, the way he held himself with an assured air, sure of his own abilities? Or was it the way he could make her feel as though she were the only girl in the world who mattered, despite how many others would throw themselves at him if given half a chance?

Of course, it could be his looks, but Kougyoku liked to think she wasn’t quite as shallow as that. Though he was undeniably stunning, it had to be said. That long, lean body, all tan skin and sinewy muscles. The silky, flowing hair that she longed to run her fingers through.

And that face!

Driving eyes, shining like jewels when they caught the light. That smirking mouth with its’ smooth, soft lips that she had had so often fantasized capturing her own.

Kougyoku was interrupted from her daydream by the return of Ka Kobun, who placed the cup of tea on the table by her side, careful not to let any spill onto the immaculately varnished lacquer.

“Here you are, your Highness, as requested.”

Kougyoku nodded, sighing as she brought the cup to her lips and took a sip.

“Thank you, Ka Kobun. Really, whatever would I do without you?”

“It’s nothing, Princess, I’m merely doing my job. I hope you feel better soon.” He bowed at her praise and retreated, taking his scrolls and leaving her in peace.

With Ka Kobun gone, the room was empty again, leaving Kougyoku free to return to her thoughts. She wondered what the attendant would say if he knew her secret – would he accept it as he had everything else she had shared, her hopes and dreams, happiness and sadness, doubts and fears? Or would he see it as nothing more than the forlorn wish of a lonely little girl, destined to fade away in the harsh reality of her fate?

Somehow, she doubted he would fully approve, even if he was far too polite to say so. After all, they were very different people, she mused. Ka Kobun was upright (some might say up _tight_ ), proper, very concerned with keeping the correct decorum and manners befitting of their station. Whereas _he_ was, well...rather the opposite. As far as _he_ was concerned, rules were something that applied to other people. Which in a sense was true, considering his status – he did have the authority to do as he pleased, to a certain extent – but it did tend to leave him at loggerheads with those who thought differently. 

But that was all part of the reason she loved him. While she knew he often came across as arrogant or prideful, Kougyoku loved his confidence, how he had the courage to live by his own rules, regardless of what others may say about him. She wished she had the courage to rise above her limitations, as he had done, and live according to the wishes of her own heart. If she was honest with herself, she knew a selfish part of her wanted to take that confidence for herself – to be by his side and show everyone that she could be just as brave and powerful as him. That he had chosen _her_ , and no-one else, to be worthy of his affections.

Kougyoku sighed again, looking down at her now empty cup. It seemed that dream would be forever denied to her, however much she may wish for it. Apparently, love was not in her destiny, at least going by how her life had gone so far.

First there had been the possibility of marriage to the first prince of Balbadd, Abhmad Saluja - and look how that had turned out! A greedy, lazy pig of a prince, content to leave the running of the country to corrupt officials and two-faced politicians. They’d managed to ruin the economy, alienate the people _and_ almost cause a full-blown civil war, not to mention destroy half the city while trying to prevent the situation from getting any further out of hand. The whole process had been a complete disaster; the marriage negotiations being cut off before they even began.

She shuddered delicately; the thought of being married to that man! Ugh, he barely even deserved the term. Of course, if things had gone differently, she might have ended up wed to the third prince instead, Alibaba Saluja.

She smiled, smothering a laugh at the idea of being married to Alibaba, of all people. He was certainly a far better match than his oaf of a half-brother, but actually being her husband? It was an... interesting notion, to say the least. No, they were good friends, and he was a valuable ally, but the two of them would never work out romantically. He was far too attached to Morgiana, and her to him, to even consider pursuing anyone else. It was rather sweet, really, how devoted the two were to each other, even if it had taken them simply _ages_ to admit it outright.

No, it seemed romance was not in the cards for Kougyoku. However much she may wish otherwise, her heart was not hers to own. It would belong to the husband her father chose for her, or her elder brother Kouen when he inherited the throne. There was no use hoping otherwise, and dreaming about it would only make her depressed.

Shaking her head, Kougyoku pushed her thoughts to one side. Perhaps a walk around the gardens would clear her head and raise her mood. She went to the window and looked out, admiring the bright blue sky and cool breeze.

“Hey, old hag, what’cha doing up there? I’m bored, come down and play with me!”

Hearing the familiar voice – and accompanied insulting nickname - Kougyoku looked down to see Judar lounging in his favourite spot – sitting in the branches of a peach tree, idly eating one of the fruits.

She smiled down at him, leaning over the ledge to reply.

“Alright, I’m coming! I’ll be down in a minute, Judar!”

He acknowledged her words with a wave of the hand - still holding the half-eaten peach – and she turned away, heading out her room to join him in the courtyard for a sparring session.

As she walked, she couldn’t help smiling to herself. Maybe she would never be allowed to act on her feelings, and maybe she would never have them requited, but no-one could ever stop her from having them. And for now, it was enough simply to be by his side, sharing in his company. And if that included rude nicknames and peach pits tossed at her head, well, that was a price she was willing to pay.

Maybe she was in love, after all.


End file.
